The past few weeks have been tough for a lot of people. Hurricanes, acts of terrorism, and wild fires have dominated the news. The shooting in Las Vegas has been particularly upsetting for those of us who are concert goers and music fans. All of it has been very stressful.
It is very easy to get caught up in negative thinking, not only in the face of massive disasters, but in our own personal struggles. My mind wants to go in that direction all the time. No matter what efforts I put forth to be kind and to help others, negativity is always in the shadows, waiting to step through any crack and take over.
Depression, addiction, and emptiness have been my constant companions, even before I was diagnosed with my two incurable diseases. Depression itself is a disease, perhaps even more destructive than the physical ones. It sucks my energy daily, and I have to choose to fight through it every day.
Being “so alive” is a choice. It is a mantra I have to repeat to myself each day. The past two weeks have brought many new challenges I didn’t need, revealing to other people some very embarrassing things I’d kept hidden, and being labeled. I reached a new low again. Every time I think I have hit bottom, another bottom manages to appear. Still, the remedy for handling my dark fears and emptiness is to reach out to people. Not to get attention or be needy, but to help other people in some way. Feeling down? Send a donation to help the victims of the Las Vegas attack. Tempted? Hold the door open for the upstairs neighbor and say hello. Frustrated? Go online and encourage someone in the recovery chat room. Pet some dogs and cats at the shelter. Get out of your own way. Get out of your own head.
Helping people is a way of paying it forward and moving it forward. It can pull you out of a rut and keep you going. You will see you are not alone; we all suffer in one way or another. As long as you are alive, you have a place, and you are of value to other people. At least that’s what I must remind myself to think about each day.