Whew. As I type this, my eyes are grainy and tired from waiting for my computer to do some updating and writing future posts during that time.
Although I have been dealing with a chronic spending and money management problem for years (since about age 12), there are some times when being pragmatic has to go out the window for the sake of feeling alive. Because when you have a chronic illness, you are not guaranteed many opportunities to do so. Sometimes I purchase things I don’t need, and spend money that really should be going elsewhere. But I rarely regret my purchases.
Two of the things I love are in the photograph above. “Sinner” and “Saint” travel sized perfumes by Kat von D ( http://www.katvondbeauty.com ).
Last year, I wandered into Sephora for something else when I spotted a magnificent bottle on display at the entrance to the store. It was the full-sized bottle of “Saint”. The bottle intrigued me. I had never seen anything like it. So, being the impulsive/compulsive shopper I am, I grabbed one. It smelled terrific, and I only buy one perfume per year and that year was up. So I got in line to pay for my wares, including the item I had gone there for and a few other things. Sephora does that to a woman.
I promised myself I would only choose one of Kat von D’s two perfumes, the other being “Sinner”, with an equally ornate but black bottle. While in the checkout line, there was a young girl dressed in Goth style makeup and clothing. I overheard her telling someone else she did not like “Sinner”, so I was confident with my choice.
But I hadn’t even tried “Sinner”. Once home, I found myself becoming more and more curious about it. A few days later, I was back at Sephora testing “Sinner”…and I loved it! Later that day, I had TWO very ornate perfume bottles on my dresser, and I had my choice between which one to wear.
My “perfume year” is up once again, and I still have the ornate bottles sitting on my dresser, half full. The reason I only pick one perfume per year is that I am forbidden to wear perfume in the workplace, and I work a lot. I wear the perfumes on my days off, but there was far too much in each bottle to go through it all in that short time.
So this year I decided to actually BE more pragmatic about my choice and go with the travel sizes. But I am not going to toss those ornate bottles anytime soon. They are simply too pretty, and I need beauty in my life.
Even with lung disease, most days I can tolerate perfume as long as I don’t put too much on. And before I sat down to write this (after I took the photo), I opened “Sinner” and spritzed it on my forearms. It is totally wonderful, a small pleasure that has elevated my mood and made my day a tiny bit better.
For me, this is money well spent. In time, there will be medical bills and expensive medications and maybe even disability to worry about. Some say I should be saving all I have for that time. But I feel I need to LIVE during this time, being as pragmatic as possible but within reason. There will be plenty of time for seriousness later, when I can no longer do the things I love. Even when that time comes, I vow to still find things I love and adjust them to my capabilities. Life is meant to be lived, and these little perfume bottles will help me do that in a small way.